Harry Potter and the Sex Ed Class
by StarkLovesShawarma
Summary: Harry and pals have a new class at Hogwarts School of Witchtits and Wizardtush! enjoy


**This right here is a crack parody of Harry Potter for my pal** **Lettice Ichigo Octavia! They read my Twilight parody and requested it, and plus I have writers block, so enjoy the result! I can say that I like all the Harry Potter movies, and I've only read the 2nd book. So idk, I've never written Harry Potter, and as my last parody said: THIS WAS WRITTEN BADLY FOR A REASON! Oh, and speaking of the Twilight parody, I think i'll add a little Twilight in here! XD & i dont own Harry Potter, dumbass Twatlight, Hello Kitty, the PowerPuff Girls or Teen Titans. ^^**

It was very early in the morning as Harry walked down the corridor of Hogwarts School of Witchtits and Wizardtush. (XD) Beside him were his two best friends, the disgusting mugblood and the stupid ass ginger...or as you know them Hermione and Ron. The two boys students were becoming nervous of the new class Professer Dumbledick had added to their schedules...SEX ED...but Hermione was always ready for a challenge, since she majors in the craft of being a total fucking slut anyway.

"I don't know about this Harry. I mean...what if they show us a picture of a..._vergina?_" The virgin ginger whispered the last part. Harry gulped down nervously and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"It's pronouced PUSSY, you red headed dick eater." the bad-mouthed witch said plainly as she pulled a banana from under her skirt, peeling it. Harry and Ron gazed at her, as she shurgged and bit into it.

"WHAT? You fudge packing faggots never seen a girl eat breakfast...gezze." Hermione spoke as she chewed her food. Just as Harry was about to respond they had made it to their class, SEX ED. The two wizards glanced nervously at each other as Hermione pushed her way through the two, into the room. It was very different from the other classrooms in Hogwarts School of Witchtits and Wizardtush. It was covered in fuzzy pink bean bags and purple vibrating dildos hung from the ceiling.

"Pfft, I've got better." Hermione shurgged as she pulled a 10ft wiggling black dildo from her huge gaping vagina. Ron licked his lips...he wanted to get inside with the many items. The kids sat down as the teacher walked in. He was tall, and had greasy, dripping brown hair. His face was as pale as day old dog shit. Vampire fangs hung from his top gums, covered in squirrel blood...from who knows what. He was clothed in a black shirt and sparkly pink suit jacket, and a cherry red man-thong. Suddenly one of the students jumped into the air. It was Mandy Brocklehurst, a random student. She ripped off her uniform and revealed a bikini that read 'I' on one boob, 'LOVE' on the other, and 'EDWARD' on her bottoms. The teacher's eyes widened.

"DIE TWIGIRL!" He screamed out, grabbing a mongoose from his coat pocket and throwing it at her head. It burrowed into her brain and had a housewarming party with all his mongoose friends over. Bean dip and tofu was served. As she passed out and died, the teacher straightend his jacket. He had an almost fake looking mustache.

"WELCOME CLASS!! My name is Professer Culle-um...Culler!, and I am soooo excited to be your SEX ED teacher!" The pale man said in a flamboyant manner, obviously being a fag. Hermione pulled a hello kitty notebook and powerpuff girl pencil from her huge twat, giving it to Ron. He obviously needed them to take notes, being a virgin. The truth is, the brown haired mugblood had did the shadonka-donk with every single boy in Hogwarts School of Witchtits and Wizardtush, besides Ron.

"Today we are going to learn about having SUPER AWSOME MAGIC SPELL SEXUAL INTERTUSH-er-CORSE!" Mr. Culler threw his hands in the air as he threw condoms with faces at the children...USED condoms. Ron caught one in his mouth.

"YUMM! CHERRY!!" he licked his lips, swallowing it whole. Everyone stared at him, but then turned their attention back to the sausage jockey of a teacher.

"Ok kids, I'm gonna teach you a very VERY important spell! I need a voulenteer!" He smiled and flapped his wrists. Hermione obviously knew she was the choice, so she stood. Mr. Culler twisted into a look of disgust.

"EW! I DONT WANT A VAGINA HAVING WOMAN GIRL! I WANT A DICK HAVIN LITTLE MAN BOY." Mr. Cullen stomped his foot. "You!" He pointed, his finger landing on a certian red head.

"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mmmm-m-m-m-m-m-m-mm-m-m-m-m-m-m-me?" Ron stuttered out, sounding like an obvious virgin. The greasy vampire-er-I mean purred and brought the nevous ginger to the front of the room.

"Now this is one of the best teqniques to give your man pleasure! Rustycus-Trombonious!" Mr. Culler swiftly flicked his wand, and pulled down his pants as Ron dropped to his knees invoulentarilly. He suddenly began to lick 's crack and jack him off, giving him a rusty trombone!

"WHAT THE FUCK! HELL NO WAY AM I DOING THIS YOU PEDOFILE FAGGOT!" Cried Ron, pulling his tounge out of the vampire's ass.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP CALLING ME THAT?!" Mr. Culler pouted out, his mustache falling off and revealing his true face.

"EDWARD CULLEN!" Harry Pothead cried out, flicking his wand at him at once.

"Twiliticus-Getridofthefaggotus!" Harry demanded as he ran up to the vampire and stuck his wand into his eyeball.

"ARAGHAGHGHGHGHHHH!" he screamed, his eyeball stabbing trough his skull. Harry Pothead was victorious, and he and the rest of the class had sex with 's dead body, all except for Ron.

Where Ron was, it was dark. Warm and dark and snug. A small fridge full of his favorite foods sat beside him, and a stack of, 'Skanky Witch Monthly.', which had Hermione on the cover, of course! The only down side to Ron's new pad was that it was sticky and wet.

"RON! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY VAGINA I PLAN ON HAVING SEX WITH PROFESSER DUMBLEDICK TO GET AN A IN ALL MY CLASSES!" Hermione's voice echoed inside her own gaping vagina, as Ron chewed on a platypus.

"NOT UNTIL YOU GET ME ALL THE THINGS ON MY LIST HERMIONWHORE!" he yelled back, a hand coming from her vag holding a paper.

_RON'S LIST OF I WANT THIS SHIT STUFF_

_1. womabt_

_2. sock drawer full of chocolate flavored jello_

_3. platypus stuffed with another platypus_

_4. Beast Boy's used underwear from Titan's Tower...oh yea...o_o_

_5. another wombat cause ill probably kill the first one from having too much butt sex with it._

_6. a carrot to have butt sex with the wombat_

_7. a rug, yours has bugs in it._


End file.
